when it rains it pours and sometimes it's enough to sink a ship

so i feel like a sinking ship. yep. a sinking ship. i'm the crew woman who is sitting on the deck sipping on a g&t surrounded by usb keys, power point slides, rare books, and thousands of journal articles with the, "i'm going down - fuck it" attitude.

ugh. seriously i had no idea library school was going to be this much work or this hard. i walked into the slis program with the idea that this was no big deal and i'd knock it out in no time. now here i am 6 months later and i feel totally overwhelmed. it feels like i have spent every extra minute in the ksu library studying and working on projects and meeting with groups. it is becoming too much for me. i was even at the library on the weekend - both saturday and sunday. what the fuck? and in the last two weeks i have had not one but two crying, freak out episodes where i feel like even if i stay up till 4:00 am there's no way i'll get everything done.

i always tell myself, "this is it. next time i will not procrastinate and i will be better prepared, yadda, yadda, yadda." why do i continue to abuse myself like this? seriously - do i have a chemical imbalance? or am i simply just glutton for punishment? maybe i'm some kind of library school masochist. at this point, anything is possible.

and what is the deal with group projects? why are these so f'n important? i'm so over it. it's not like i dislike the people i'm working with - they are all actually pretty cool. i kinda lucked out in that area but still....i wish the group project trend would end.

so here i am with the water rising higher and higher and higher and pretty soon i won't be able to breathe at all. if only it were gin i was drowning in and not metadata, signature collation, and encoded archival description.